Anguish
by Rambutans
Summary: The first time Wally had ever seen Anguish, he was eleven. He remembered the way it looked when his younger cousins threw tantrums. Red faces shimmering with tears and spit. Eyes open wide or scrunched shut. A puffy mouth bearing tiny teeth. Anguish was nothing like that. (Dick/Wally)


_A/N_: Why did I write this I'm the worst I'm so sorry. Also why is this the first fic I ever write for YJ that sees the light of day.

(You can take it as Bromance or Romance, depending upon your preference. It could probably swing both ways.)

* * *

Dick was still in his Robin uniform. Perched on the couch in one of Wayne Manor's four parlor rooms, his knees were up to his chin and his shoulders trembled. Wally couldn't see his face from the doorway, but he could hear the sound of controlled breaths which sometimes would hitch and then exhale in a slow waver.

The first time Wally had ever seen Anguish he was eleven. He remembered the way it looked when his younger cousins threw tantrums. Red faces shimmering with tears and spit. Eyes open wide or scrunched shut. A puffy mouth bearing tiny teeth. Anguish was nothing like that. Anguish hurt just to look at and he wasn't even sure why. Anguish was frightening. Because of Aguish, Wally knew Robin as a hurting child before he ever knew Robin as a hero.

Robin didn't scream like Wally's cousins did. Robin moaned like he was in pain. He rocked on his shoulder, lying in his massive bed and pulling on the neck of his pajamas, scratching his chest until it was red. Wally watched him from across the room, too afraid to help.

That was when Bruce came in and said, "I think it's time for you to go home, Wally." He bent over the bed and tried to scoop Robin into his arms but Robin yelled and clambered away, rolling onto his stomach. He gulped for air like he was choking and then let it out in quiet whine.

"Dick," Bruce said Robin's name like he was trying to scold him and Wally knew Bruce was just worried, but he couldn't help thinking that Uncle Barry was so much better at cheering people up. Robin needed somebody like Uncle Barry right now so Wally made himself walk around Robin's bed, even though he was scared to see Robin's face and even though Bruce was giving him the _Batman_ look.

"Robbie?" Wally leaned close to Robin when he spoke because Robin had his eyes covered by the blue and black plaid bed sheets and his hands were near his ears, pulling at the short black hair by his temple.

"U-um," With a quick glance at Bruce who still looked mad but also wasn't telling him to leave or picking him up kicking and screaming (like he did last time when Wally had stayed over two days in a row and didn't want to go home yet), Wally kept going. "Uncle B says that a really good way to feel better when you're sad is to hug somebody as tight as you can. And usually I hug Uncle B but he's not here so you can hug me if you want…"

Robin was wheezing out deep, shaking breaths, his face halfway turned to Wally exposing an over turned bottom lip and dimpled, quivering chin, but he nodded into his comforter. Wally waited a moment for Robin to sit up but he didn't so Wally leaned over the edge of the bed and pushed his arms behind Robin's neck, forcing Robin's hands to let go of his hair. Robin pulled him down and hugged him back so hard it actually _hurt_ but Wally tired not to make any noise about it because Uncle Barry never did.

It was a little hard to breathe with his nose crushed into the bedspread but Robin was holding him down tightly and huffing into his shoulder which made it damp and hot but Robin wasn't wailing so much anymore and Wally thought that was good. Their legs dangled over the edge of the bed and Bruce was still standing on the other side, arms crossed and eyes thin when Robin turned his face to Wally's ear and whispered through a shuddered breath, "I luh-ove you, Wally."

The way Robin said it made Wally sad, like Robin was talking to somebody else, but they weren't there so he just told Wally instead.

"I love you too, Robbie. It'll be okay," Wally said it back because that's how Uncle Barry did it, but he forgot to whisper and said it out loud.

Robin thumped him on the back and said, "Don't te-ell Bruce, stupid!"

That was when Bruce made a noise that, thinking back, Wally was sure had been a snort of amusement, but as a child Wally had likened it more to the snort of an angry bull. That time, Wally got to stay the rest of the night, but had to leave in the morning. When he saw Robin next, Robin looked shy and embarrassed for a little bit and then seemed to forget that it had ever happened by the time they parted.

Wally never forgot, and he remembered every time he saw Dick this way. Dick had learned a lot from Batman, but not all of it was used in the field. Wally knew Dick worked _hard_ to stop himself from crying sometimes. Not often, because people move on and it had been a long time since Dick had had nightmares about his parents, but sometimes he was just sad about them and Wally thought that was perfectly reasonable, even though Dick seemed to disagree.

The fireplace was licking the chimney with a flaming tongue and there was a plate of uneaten cookies on the coffee table in front of the couch, Alfred's doing, Wally was sure. Wally made as much noise as he could, walking into the room. He made sure his heals clacked on the hardwood and that he said, "hey," before he leaned over the back of the couch, sliding face first towards the cushions and snaking his way over the gap to the coffee table and by extension, the cookies.

Dick laughed at him as Wally rolled his legs off the back cushions and haphazardly maneuvered himself into a proper sitting position. "You're like a beached whale, Kid Fat."

Wally could hear the strain at the back of Dick's throat and the tiny shudder in his breath. "Rude," Wally said and shoved the cookie into his mouth. Dick didn't say anything back and when Wally had finished chewing he scooted closer to him.

Dick didn't notice, having returned to his breathing exercises and glazed over staring contest with the fireplace. Wally moved a bit more and said, "oh no… Rob!" in the gravest tone he could.

"What?" Dick turned to look at him, more tired than worried.

Wally nudged closer. "Oh _no!_"

"Dude, _What_?" Dick's brows furrowed and his legs slipped down to rest crossed on the couch cushion. That was when Wally moved in for the hug, slipping his arms behind Robin's chest and locking onto him like a starfish to a coral rock.

"Aw, man!" Wally said. "Did you put magnets in your vest again? Dude you know my heart is reinforced with cold, hard metal. We could be stuck like this for hours. _Days_ maybe."

Dick's arms settled around Wally's shoulders and he laughed tightly and said, "You are psychotic."

"_ME_? You're the one who puts _magnets_ in your _vest_ just to get me to hug you, weirdo."

Dick's breath was hot on Wally's shoulder and his arms tightened uncomfortably. "Dude, I seriously love you."

Wally smiled through Dick's painful hug and said, "Love you too, Robbie-poo."

"If you call me that one more time you better sleep with a knife tonight."


End file.
